everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
