Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
More tranny stories later!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
