you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
