My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
