Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
