I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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