Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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