he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize