Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
