Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
