You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
