I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
