You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
