:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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