Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
