Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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