This girl is more easily done than said...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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