i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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