Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
