You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize
