There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
