It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Pooping to opera.
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