There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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