I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
