i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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