he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
