what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
