3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
