I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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