He is such a slut. More and more my type.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
