I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
