He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
