That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
