shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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