We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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