I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
