this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize