I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
