you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
