Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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