U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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