I love black thongs
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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