Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
