she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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