im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
