Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
