What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
