just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
