if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
