Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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