dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
