i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
