Someone shit on the floor
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
