I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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