oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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