i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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